In light of the Halloween season, I bring to you a review of a horror novel. One so depraved, so radical, so terrifying that it’ll take you to the depths of madness. Then it’ll sit you down with a nice cup of tea and a biscuit before slapping both from your quivering hands.
“But there was nothing I could do about it now, having only soup for arms.“
A Preface
In all seriousness, this is a weird book and one that needs a preface to understand. Garth Marenghi is a parody of the eighties horror writer. Originally created as a framing device for a parody Horror show shown on the UK’s channel four. (Dark Place – it’s still available on their streaming service and I highly recommend)
Now, a decade later, this (fake, though now technically real) author is back having written an equally parodistic horror novel. If this isn’t enough layers for you then sit tight (though without that cup of tea that was so rudely slapped from your quivering hands). The book’s premise is that a horror writer, a parody of Garth Marenghi (who is himself a parody) entered a Faustian (and deviently sexual) pact with an ancient cursed typewriter.
As a warning, I wasn’t kidding when I said the book is depraved. The sex and gore gets pretty explicit. Though, helpfully certain sections have been cut and replaced with a censor warning, making you flip to the back for the full unedited scene. I really enjoyed this, if only for the passive aggressive notes from Garth complaining about having to do this.
As a result of this pact, the author’s fictional creations start coming to life and becoming real, leading Nick Steen (the parody writer of a parody writer and our main character) and his reluctant editor to have to defeat the horrors stalking Stalkford.
“She may well have whispered, ‘I’ll miss you,’ once I’d gone, but I couldn’t hear that from where I was, and as this is first-person narration and therefore not omniscient, we just won’t know.“
Structure
The structure is a simple one, with the book split into three novellas. The first deals with the typewriter and ending with the release of Nick’s imagination. The second and third follow Nick dealing with a different threat. Each one from a different fictional fiction and each one equally absurd and amusing. My only complaint with this structure is that I wanted more.
Whilst each story has its own conclusion, we don’t really get a conclusion for the overall story. It fits with the main character to just move on but the final ending felt like there’s supposed to be another novella afterwards.
I say all this with a caveat though. ‘Garth Marenghi’ has written another book. One that is due out soon and will certainly be read by myself. If it immediately picks up where this one left off, and treats us to another series of novellas I’ll forgive all. I’d certainly have another book full of these than have this book wrap up nicely.
“There was nothing more Nick could do. Bar helping them. So he ran.”
Parodistic
As someone who enjoys dissecting books and has written my own, the bad writing in this book was amazing. The tone was impeccable and perfectly followed the line between funny bad and actually bad. Repeated lines, tense issues, fourth wall breaks and an abundance of clichés kept me chuckling throughout at the egregious nature of all of these.
With Nick being a writer himself, and the stories being his own, his view on the events was great. We’d get him dissecting the issue with the bad guys’ plans and trying to use plot holes to divert narrative structure in an attempt to save his own skin (literally in some cases). The second novella was my favourite in this regard as the events were created from an unwritten sequel of Nicks. He spends the entire time looking for issues and criticising how the bad guy has gone about it.
“They gripped hands manfully.”
Concepts
All the ideas in this book are absurd. Each horror idea is almost scary but some detail tales it back from the edge. The author (either one, you pick) takes each one incredibly seriously and this only adds to the effect. Whether it’s dermatological based horrors or esoteric concepts that rely on a pun naming scheme, each is creative and keeps you reading to see just how unhinged it can get. The twists are ridiculous and whilst some are obvious, the others come out of nowhere. For once, the fact they are both equally bad was a delight.
The third novella was my least favourite in this regard, and whilst still ridiculous, it lacked the same level of spiralling out of control. Based around a dark parody of Nick, (who is a parody of Garth Marenghi (who is a parody of Horror writers) – I hope you’re keeping up) the concept is great. This further spirals as it turns out the dark parody also has its own dark fraction (or throppelganger) and so on and so fourth. Each book in the fictional sixteen part series adds another layer and even Nick starts to question the complexity of his own series.
I loved this aspect and commentary on writing such books, but the story behind the concept didn’t hook me in the same way. Part one has a strong mystery element as you’re working out what’s going on. Part two has strong characters with another main character getting in the way as Nick’s editor Ros becomes the unwitting victim. Part three, however, is middling. Despite the ideas on show, we are just following Nick from place to place fighting mainly one version of him. It has great moments but lacks the same spark as the other two. It feels more like a middle episode of a series you like. Not bad, but not a series finale.
“Roz, I need you to do this,’ I said, although I didn’t, in actual fact – that’s just a lazy phrase which helps steer a lost narrative back on course when readers are giving up in droves, and is, ironically, a major sign of bad writing.”
A book in three parts?
The more I think on it, the more I feel like this wasn’t the form the book was written for. Not that it’s not literary. Indeed Garth’s footnotes and the humour aimed at writers would be out of place anywhere else. I mean that I think it was supposed to be a series of novellas published separately. Either that or one long book in many more parts. The middling nature of part three and its abrupt ending suggest that maybe TerrorTome and its sequel Incarat are supposed to be one book. Once both are able to be bought together, I feel like this would be a better read and better recommendation. Keep tuned for my review of it and my final thoughts.
“That sentence would be brilliantly funny, Nick. If it weren’t also terrifyingly true.”
In summary
This book has a lot of layers, and most of them feel like they were created for me. I won’t lie, this is a very niche book and I can see why a lot would bounce off at the first mention of the nipple barbs.
However, if you too, find the mix of parody writing, British humour and unhinged ideas too tempting for your own good, this might just be the tome for you. Read it, if you dare…
Beyond The Spine Reviews 